because
im so so so so tired that i keep running even from myself because i cant tolerate feeling like this. this seems right but its all so wrong and is impossible to fix it. i cant fit in, i cant be a good friend, a good person, i cant be pretty enough, i cant be smart enough, i cant do the things i want to, i cant not care about people say, i cant move on, i cant keep my mouth shut, i cant do people listen to me, i cant write good enough, i cant not be a mess, i cant be normal, i cant not be selfish, i cant read that books ,i cant disappear, i cant speak neither portuguese nor english very well, i cant stop myself of feeling, i cant not want to kill everybody and then myself because its all my fault and its their fault as well and i cant tolerate anymore the voices, the noises, the war, the irregular family and that i have, i cant be who i wanna be, i cant and i cant and i cant. i cant leave my home and my mom and my cat, i cant not want attention, i cant stop to talk with him, i cant stop want to smoke and then smoke, i cant not want to call my idiot dad at the middle of the night saying please just get me a ticket to far far far far away from here
because
i just keep thinking that im losing so many people and im losing myself and i cant do anything about it, i just keep thinking that people will miss me if im gone but then they will just get over it except for my parents and even beside all this i cant do this with them
why people does not listen to me, why my parents gets mad with me about nothing, why is he too far away from me, why do i have to keep talking with her, why doesnt the things work out, why i am scream into the void, why cant i just stay in one place for good, why i dont belong to this anywhere
because
i i i i i i i i i i